April 1, 1982
By: KK
Copyright @2001

The day I lost the big "V".

I was fifteen, stupid and a runaway. I stayed with some older guy that I barely knew and felt obligated to have sex with him for letting me stay at his place. We shared a twin bed, in a filthy apartment and he put the pressure on. I was too naive to stand up to the guy and tell him he could be arrested. I was also dumb enough to think that being with this guy was better than spending the night in juvenile hall again.

It was a complete waste of time. I had zero experience and laid there like a dead fish. It hurt. It was over in less than 30 seconds and I regretted everything about it.

The next day I was picked up and transported to juvenile hall. The minute you arrive they give you a full physical exam. Not only was I absolutely mortified to have my first gynecological exam, but I was even more mortified to find out that I had gonorrhea. So much for the first time, loving, euphoric experience of losing your virginity.

If you have never experienced the wonderful world of juvenile hall, let me explain to you what happened next.

1. They called my mother. I'm sure she relished in the fact that her daughter's first sexual experience involved a dead beat with a venereal disease.
and
2. They give you daily medication during meal time, in front of all of the other delinquents. This lets everyone know that you are carrying a communicable disease and to keep your distance.

I never saw the loser again. I cannot even remember his name. Hopefully his dick fell off when a full wind blew through. Unfortunately my first experience did not stop me from having more sexual encounters. I found it to be the easiest way to get a boy's attention. Years later I did end up with Chlamydia and two unwanted pregnancies.
The pregnancies were terminated. I was immature and an idiot for having unprotected sex. Not only did I not deserve to have children at the time, I was incapable of running my own life let alone an innocent child's life.

I was probably considered "easy". I only hung out with older guys. I didn't realize until later in life that I did this because I was looking for a father figure. I dated a lot, but did not sleep with everyone. I liked the attention more than I liked the sex. I was too young to appreciate what a good sexual experience was supposed to be like. I didn't start enjoying sex until I met my first real boyfriend at 18. There will be a chapter on him later.

My children will be told about my first sexual experience. They need to know that I took my virginity too lightly and could have made a fatal mistake. I was definitely the "fool" on that April 1st.