Bikini Waxing
by: KK
Copyright @2001

I consider myself to be an adventurous person and decided that a bikini wax would be a nice change from shaving. I asked the advice of a very close friend of mine, who had experienced the bikini wax and asked what her opinion was.

She stated, "You'll love it! It not painful and the results last a long time."

She lied.

I arrived for my appointment on time. Broom Hilda called my name. She escorted me to a room big enough for a table and the boiling wax. Now, I'm not modest by any means but when Broom Hilda said "strip" she meant "naked". Not thong, not band-aid, she meant "naked".

As I hoisted my naked ass onto the table I really began to appreciate my gynecologist even more. There were no stirrups...they weren't necessary. Broom Hilda successfully spread my legs from here to eternity. As the first layer of wax was applied, I thought, "warm feels good". As the first strip of cloth was applied, I thought, "I can handle this". As the first strip of cloth was ripped off, Broom Hilda had to peel my ass off the ceiling.

As far as I was concerned the bikini wax was now over. I felt at least six layers of skin come off. I was positive that muscle tissue was showing. Broom Hilda had other ideas. If I did not keep my ass on the table, she threatened to duct tape it down.

Rip, rip, rip...I'm positive that I saw the light at the end of the tunnel...the spirits were calling me to my final resting place. I'm fairly certain that the places Broom Hilda put her fingers would have been considered either rape or a gynecology exam.

If you think the wax was over by now, your wrong.

Broom Hilda demanded that I roll over, ass in the air. I don't normally do rectal exams on myself so I wasn't aware that there was hair there. There wasn't by the time she was finished, I think layers from my anus were missing too. The hair is afraid to grow back after that wax attack.

In her broken English (of course she's not from this country, what did you expect?),
she says, "You finished. You like?"

I said, "I'll send you the diagnosis from the emergency room."

I spent two days on bed rest with wax stuck between my legs. When the rash finally went away I actually enjoyed the results. Not enough to put myself through that torture again. My professional advice is that if you decide that you want to look like a nine year old, drink lots and lots of liquor before your appointment. It won't help the pain, but you can use the excuse that you were drunk and weren't thinking clearly.
 

Readers Respond

09.11.02

Hello, I've just read your page on Bikini Waxing and Pregnancy and they
are fantastic. Don't think i've laughed as hard since, well don't think
i've laughed that hard.
Great Page
Regards
kelly

05.03.02

Hi,
I just stumbled on your site at work last nite (I work in an ER) and you
had us roaring!!! You keep up the good work and your sense of humor.
Bikini Wax had us on the floor in tears...I kid you not.
You really need to consider stand up comedy!
Gina