Please Explain...
By: KK
Copyright @2001

The following items do not warrant a full story but they do strike me as curious and some are just plain ridiculous.

If air is free to breathe, why do I have to pay .50 to pump up my tires? If the tire did not taste so disgusting, I would take a deep breath and blow the fucker up myself.

How come toys do not come with batteries? Why does a $5.00 toy require $10.00 worth of batteries? Did it ever occur to anyone that the toy companies also own the battery companies? Look at the pink drum playing rabbit that represents a battery company...it’s a TOY!! How come the batteries up the rabbit’s ass are for sale, but the actual rabbit is not? I don’t need batteries for a toy that I can’t buy and I can’t afford the batteries for the toys that I do have.

Why do only immigrants and old people win the lotteries? It’s an immigrants dream come true...go to America, spend two pesos on tickets, win big lottery, buy more tortillas and have ten more kids. The old people don’t need it. They already have their life savings. Are they going to buy matching house boats in Boca Raton? Let a poor, hard working, trailer dwelling American win the million bucks for a change.

Why do we make appointments? The doctor is never on time and when I finally get to see him the visit lasts for all of five minutes. How the hell do these short visits put him so behind schedule? With that kind of schedule one would think the doctors day would be over by noon. God forbid if I’m five minutes late, my appointment will be canceled. Waiting for repair people puts me over the edge. They give you a 2-4 hour time span of when they might be there. They are always late and I have wasted my entire day waiting to pay someone hundreds of dollars to fix my toilet. Even though I called a year in advance to make this appointment, I am always the last appointment.

Parking lots are the equivalent of driving through a mental hospital. People don’t know where the hell they are going or where the hell they have been. Screw the speed bumps and aim for the pedestrians. There is nothing more annoying than a the pedestrian that slows down when they see a car coming up on them. They deserve to be run over! Everyone should be forced to park facing forward. Not one person can back out of a parking spot in less than an hour and not hit a cart or a small child at the same time.

Why are there thirty handicap spots for one grocery store? Are there really that many handicap people in the store at the same time? Shit, I’m handicapped by the time I walk from my parking spot in Arkansas to the store in Nebraska.

People who use coupons, rebates and food stamps all at once. It’s a shame that I am forced to check my weapons at the door. Just once I would like to take a shot at these people and watch the bullet fly in one ear and out the other. It would occupy my time while they demand that price check on a can of tomato soup.

We have 500 channels on cable, 250 videos, 123 DVD’s, a movie rental store and nothing to watch.

Why do store sales clerks think they are better than everyone else? They make minimum wage, cater to rich people and expect everyone to kiss their ass. Spraying perfume on people is not a real job.

Why don’t people pull over for emergency vehicles? If I’m having a heart attack and I find out you did not pull over for my emergency vehicle, I will be forced to hunt you down and make you feel my pain.

Why does my computer crash in the middle of an important project? I know that my hard drive and memory card are high fiving each other and saying...good timing!

Why do thong bathing suits cost more than full coverage bathing suits? To a logical person like myself, I think...less fabric, less effort to make, less money. I am paying the bathing suit makers more to show off my own ass.

These are just a few annoying things. I have many more, but I like to keep my articles short...long articles annoy me.