Rebecca Bites the Dust
By: KK

Copyright @2002

* Since last year I have received a ton of e-mails wanting an update on the Tinker Bell story...I hadn't planned on doing one, but you'll see why it was warranted.


In order for anyone to follow this story, you'll have to read the Tinker Bell story first to see how this war began. I had all but dropped the issue as of this last month until Rebecca, a.k.a Tinker Bell, decided to keep pushing the issue and I have to give her the attention she so deserves.

Since our original argument in September of 2001 Rebecca has tried to make half ass attempts at trying to be my friend again. Let's all pray that she doesn't decide to write a book on how to be a friend, because the country would be severely misled.

1. Let's begin in January when her first child was born. (Please note that she was in the delivery room for the birth's of both of my children and had begged to be their Godmother and Aunt.) Her and her husband decided that they wanted a private birth with just the two of them present. I didn't have a problem with that and respected their wishes. Two days after the baby was born my sister calls me to announce the birth. I head to the hospital with my hurt feelings in check. I visited for awhile and then noticed the list of people to call when the baby was born, sitting on the table. Out of 20-30 people on the list I was third from the bottom. When I saw the digital photos taken right after the birth, her entire family including my sister were all in the pictures. I picked up my hurt feelings and left the hospital. Since the baby had been born, not once was I ever mentioned as being an Aunt or God forbid the ever imposing Godmother of the child.

2. My girlfriend J. gives Rebecca boxes of baby things, including a bassinet. Not once did Rebecca ever thank her. Since mine and Rebecca's friendship has officially ended in July, Rebecca now decides that she wants to only return the bassinet, not the other things. She also decides that she will give the bassinet to my sister, for her to return to me, for me to return to J. Pretty presumptuous if you ask me, considering Rebecca didn't ask anyone if they could run this errand for her and considering out of everyone else she has the most time on her hands. Except of course when she's breast feeding her child 24 hours a day.

3. When I was diagnosed in April with cancer, Rebecca all but fell off the planet. Ignoring negative issues is the best way that she knows how to deal with things. In fact shortly after my diagnosis she stood next to my truck in tears and begged to be a part of my life. I told her that I was about to go through some pretty negative shit and that she had better think long and hard if she actually could handle my illness. I guess not, all of my friends, my mother, and my husband were there on a moments notice for me. Rebecca didn't even bother to come over and check if I was still breathing. She didn't know how to handle the situation, her words exactly. I found that to be an absolutely hysterical statement, considering that none of my friends and family knew how to deal with the "situation" and I especially didn't know how to deal with it...but they were all there for me no matter what.

4. Throughout my treatment my children kept asking where Rebecca was and why she wasn't helping me like everyone else. Rebecca also flat out ignored my son when he had his second eye surgery. This put me over the edge because I am incredibly protective of my children and she deliberately hurt them.

5. Rebecca decides to become best friends with my sister again, but fails to be completely honest with her about any of the above. She does feel free to tattle on J. and I for something very wrong that we did. Two years ago J., Rebecca and I decided to prove to my sister that she was being financially and emotionally scammed by her inmate husband. We all agreed to go to my sister's house and photo copy the letters that he had written to her. I went the first day and did most of the work. J. went the second day to finish. The only reason that Rebecca didn't show up was because she had to work. I will be the first to admit that what we did was wrong and an invasion of privacy. We truly thought that we were going to protect my sister and prove to her that she was not in a good relationship. Rebecca, J. and I spent a week reading and highlighting the letters together. We all agreed that she was being used. We all agreed to not confront her, because she was already married to him and we doubted that she would leave him. To spare her feelings, we all also agreed to not tell her what we had done. It was to be kept a secret between the three of us.

Two nights ago my sister confronts me with, "did you and J. photo copy all of his letters to me?"

I admitted it and told her that we were wrong for entering her house. I refused to apologize for the actual act of copying the letters. She had the right to be upset and continued with accusing J. and I of committing this heinous act. After continually accusing just the two of us, I stepped in and stated, "the next time that you get information from Rebecca, you might want to get the whole truth. She was just as involved as we were and I'm not surprised that she didn't admit her part in it."

My sister was surprised by this and intended on confronting J. and Rebecca both. I thought that was wise, as I know J. has no problem admitting her part in this crime...Rebecca on the other hand dropped this bit of information on my sister while I was in the hospital with Viral Pneumonia. It was fairly clear that my sister had enough to worry about at the time, with me in the hospital, that she didn't really need to know that we went behind her back over two years ago. Rebecca was trying to play in the "Big Girls League" and basically slit her own throat. There was no particular reason for her to tell my sister that story ever...let alone when my sister was already concerned about my health.

After being told on and off by Rebecca that she no longer wanted to be my friend and then she did and then she didn't, I had pretty much given up on this ever having a happy ending. She didn't support my children and me when I announced that I wanted a divorce from my husband, she didn't support my children and me when I was diagnosed with cancer, she never involved my children and I with her baby, she never explained to my children why she didn't want to be a part of their lives anymore and never said good-bye (of course I am expected to take the blame for giving them a "one sided story"), she treated my friends with disrespect and was shocked when they retaliated against her, she continues to lie to my sister and try to break up our already fragile relationship and she basically has defined the term "back stabber".

I guess the greatest part about her living in her own dream world, is that she actually believes that everyone involved in my life still has any respect for her. Her naivety would impress even the biggest optimist if she actually believes the few people that she still has contact with look at her with any sense of dignity.
 

Readers Respond

08.19.02

Dear K..

Oh My God! Is this true? I feel so sorry for you! After everything you
have been through, your childhood, your cancer and all, I can't believe
you go through so much! You seem really strong. No wonder why you say you
are confused, who can blame you? Well, you are so much better off without
her. I can't believe she acted this way to you. I can't imagine my crew
treating me like that, I have the best posse on the planet. We are so
tight, nothing could ever break us.
Stay true to yourself,

CyberSexy

Response from J.
Tinkerbell,

I am pleased to say that everyone now has the opportunity to see for
themselves who you really are. Since you didn't choose to respond to my
email, I assume you had no response when the truth has fallen in your lap.
That was okay with me. I would have been more than happy to continue this
discussion with you privately, but since you are not able to show your
maturity, which we have all come to expect from you, you give me no choice
but to address it with you here, where I know you are a regular visitor.
Your comment to me regarding not agreeing with the way you handle "certain
situations" is obviously true. Your next comment stating that you were
trying to be "civil" I would have accepted until the recent events over
the past few days. The word CIVIL (according to the dictionary) means
adequate in courtesy and politeness; mannerly. Based on your behavior,
you are the most uncivilized person I have ever known. Not only are you a
terrible friend, but nasty and manipulating as well. You breached a trust,
and tried to intentionally come between sisters. How dare you try to
manipulate a situation and attempt to turn sisters against each other? In
addition, you chose an inappropriate time in their lives to create this.
The information you chose to divulge was ancient. You methodically chose
your moment when it would have to most impact. I am completely shocked at
your continued self-serving behavior. In addition, you twisted the story
into a pretzel by conveniently leaving your name out and without fault.
You are getting really good at not choosing to recognize your own faults.
You stated to K "let it go" referring to your friendship that she should
let it die. What you fail to realize you have become so irrelevant in our
circle of friends that your name doesn't even come up...you don't seem to
have let it go. You needed to create havoc so that the fire was still
burning. Well, water needs to be thrown on the fire....YOU. You are a
fool...don't ever try to get in the middle of a family and don't ever
think you can compete with us....it'll never happen, you are out of your
league.
As for other pressing business. Your response regarding the bassinet is
followed up with this. You do not work, you don't have a big social life,
I hear, so it has now been a week. I expect you to return what is
borrowed. You have had it now for 8 months, and most babies only use it
from birth to 2 months at the most. The fact that you can't return it
immediately means a mere few days to a week as far as I am concerned. If
you cannot, I assume you have poor time management and you need to work on
that. Although responsibility to others is not your strong suit, but I
expect this to be followed through with. You received my address by email.
I will be looking for it in the mail.
I look forward to hearing how others who read this website view
friendships like yours and your mistreatment of others as your hobby.

J.