Television Reporters
By: KK

Copyright @ 2001

I am not a huge fan of reporters in general and I am convinced that most of them are certifiable lunatics.

Pond scum would be an understatement in describing a tabloid reporter. They make a career out of spying and stalking the famous. I do not promote celebrities in any way and I do believe that a certain amount of publicity comes with the territory. But tabloid reporters cross the line of privacy when it comes to trying to ruin a celebrities life. It is not necessary for the public to know intimate details of persons life just because they are famous. Frankly, it is none of our damn business. Tabloid reporters take great pride in hanging out of a tree, snapping off an entire role of film on one celebrity and then publishing the worst photo off the role. Along with that photo comes a trumped up story of how the celebrity wiped his ass the wrong way and a what a tragedy that it is. My advice to the useless tabloid reporters...get a life. I am certain that if they actually experienced having a zoom lens shoved up their nose 24/7 and then a two page article written about the inside of their nostrils and the tunnel of wind blowing through their ears, they might gain an ounce of respect for themselves and the privacy of others. But I won't hold my breath for that change of heart. There is always that million dollar check waiting around the corner for the first reporter to write about and photograph the skid marks in Tom Cruise's underwear.

Weather reporters are fairly dense in the head. The Survivor show is nothing compared to these morons standing in the middle of a hurricane, tornado or typhoon trying to give the viewer "the experience" of what these storms really feel like. Nothing is more entertaining than watching a weather reporter cling to a light pole while 500 mph winds whip them around like a piħata. I am curious as to why an entire town is required to evacuate for a major storm, but reporters are free to float up and down a flooded street and give us a live report? If we are lucky, one day a reporter will be whisked off to the land of Oz, never to be heard from again.

For lack of a better term, I will call the last bunch "The Greed Reporters". These reporters are consumed with the almighty dollar and the publicity that comes with reporting from the front lines of a disaster. September 11th is a perfect example. On every station I watched thousands of people fleeing from the World Trade Center as the building came crashing down. At the same time I watched hundreds of reporters followed by cameras running directly into the collapsing building. My first thought was, I hope those idiots die. They immediately started shoving microphones into the victims' faces and trying to illicit comments from them. In the frantic process of escape many reporters were trampled by the victims. I stood up and cheered every time I witnessed a reporter hit the ground.

When the war began against Afghanistan every greed reporter jumped on the next plane and headed to the desert. I always knew Geraldo Rivera had such an enormous head for a reason. It is filled with some type of obnoxious gas that causes him to act like an egotistical maniac. He was one of the first to plant his ass on the "front lines" of the battle. He reveled in the fact that while doing a live report an enemy bullet whizzed over his head. I considered it a shame that if was not an American soldier that fired that round. We would have witnessed the long awaited death of one more "wanna be a hero" reporter.

Reporting the news is one thing. Becoming the news is another. Reporters have worn out their Freedom of Press right and are drowning in their own egos'. Their need to feed the public too much information causes more problems than it solves. Their desire to become rich and famous defeats the meaning of what a true reporter is supposed to do. Leave out the private intimate details and their own personal opinions. Report only the important, basic and factual stories.