Tinker Bell Letter 3
Tinker Bell,
I'm not going to dwell on the details. We have different opinions on most things
and that will not change. I have made great efforts to change myself and have
always referred to myself as "a work in progress". Unfortunately everyone seems
to believe that I am the only one with problems. But I am the only one
willing to admit that I have problems and make the effort to work on them.
It must be a nice feeling for everyone to feel so perfect and stress free. The
drama in my life comes mostly from others, not my own life. It's a shame that a
friendship has to end with such confusion. I am disappointed that I trusted and
confided in you so much to only have it thrown back in my face. It's a great
thing that your life is so perfect and that you never have any problems, marital
or otherwise. It's a sad thing that you focus on the negative things about me
and that you can't remember anything positive. I have always been grateful to
your husband and you for everything you have done. You both have always been
great to the kids and I have never felt otherwise.
I expected you to attack me with the "K. is so selfish" attitude. I'm pretty
used to it from my family so hearing it from you was not a surprise. It's what
most people fall back on when they have no legitimate reasons to attack me. I
was most hurt by the fact that once again everyone thinks that I am the only one
on this planet with an opinion. As usual I am blamed for being the "bad guy" and
I am forced to take responsibility for any conflict that arises. I expect it
now.
For the record, whether you believe it or not, my husband came home Tuesday
night and stated, "we will not be hosting a baby shower for her, I am tired of
your useless friends and family taking advantage of us". For the record, Lil Jap
stated on the phone to me, "Did Tinker Bell receive all that baby stuff? You
know that she never even called to thank me?" I told you that I asked her if you
thanked her so you wouldn't think she was worried about it. I was trying not to
cause conflict between you two.
I have never doubted that your husband makes decisions that you stand by. For
some reason everyone likes to believe that my husband doesn't have a voice in
this house. I don't form opinions for my friends, they have opinions of their
own. I'm not creative enough, nor do I have the time to make up opinions for
everyone and pass them on to others.
If you wanted to hurt me, you have accomplished that. To say that I have
"serious problems" and that I am going to ruin my marriage with my behavior was
a blow. With a few sentences you negated all the hard work I have put forth to
change certain aspects of my personality for the better and to work on a
relationship that I believe in. Through all of this you made me believe that you
were a huge supporter in making myself a better person. What a shock to find out
that you never really did believe that I was capable of being anything better.
This letter is not argue with you and it's not written out of anger. I have been
inconsolable since yesterday and devastated. Losing my mother and Mickey,
combined, was not as hard as it is to lose you. My daughter was in tears when
she saw me crying and I had to tell her that you and I had a disagreement and
that she would not be seeing you again. You need to know that my intentions were
not to end the friendship. You and I both said a lot of things in anger and I am
sorry that you feel that I am such a bad person. I guess since I have heard it
enough, from the people I love most, I'm actually starting to believe it.
Good luck to both of you and the baby. We wish you well.
K.