Tinker Bell letter 6

Tinker Bell,

The decision to not come to the baby shower was based on a couple of things. You literally told me that I am selfish, opinionated, self-centered, negative and that I have serious problems. All of which you cannot handle. For the record, I did not call your office to argue with you. I made the mistake of being sarcastic and you then jumped down my throat. From the Tuesday that this began, my argument with you revolved around specific "situations". Every one of your responses to my issues was an attack on my "character". I never attacked your personality.

It is not that I am not able to "get past this", but I feel that you think that now that we have each spoken our minds, then everything is out in the open and over with.

I feel that I can no longer be myself with you. At dinner I felt that I could not speak freely, could not have opinions and went out of my way to not say anything negative about anyone or their situations. Basically, I could not sit and "gossip" with you because I felt like I would not be acting the way you wanted me to. That is not my personality and I am willing to tone things down for certain situations, but not for specific people and on a continual basis.

Maybe you thought that I should have brought up the subject at dinner. But I felt that I was in your house and since you had made it fairly clear that I talk too much, then I felt it was up to you to bring it up. After I left, I knew you didn't bring it up because you had already told me that you feel that I get defensive and angry and I'm fairly certain that you were afraid that that was the way I was going to react.

I felt the things you said to me were hateful and spiteful. I know they were said out of anger, but those were your true feelings. I feel that I am owed an apology and an explanation as to why after all these years of friendship and with the way you have felt about me all of these years, why am I even considered one of your friends?

I'm sure that you feel that I am the one who owes you an apology. I don't feel that way. A simple issue turned into you releasing years of pent up frustration that should have been dealt when you felt it. Instead it turned into a bomb of hurt feelings and things were said that cannot be taken back. I will never feel that I can be myself around you again. I don't like the feeling of "controlling my personality" so that I don't offend you or anyone else.

I cannot honestly think of one hateful thing to say about you. You came up with several nasty adjectives to throw at me. I have many opinions, but they are clearly spoken and it does not change the status of a friendship to me. My opinions are also not used to purposely hurt people. The more people that hurt me, the more I shelter my family and I. If that is self-centered, then I accept that title with honors.
I don't want the friendship to end. But I can't promise that it will ever be the same.

K.

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