Tinker Bell Letter 2

K.

Over the last couple of days you have shown me that you don't really consider me a true friend and that you don't really know me. Tuesday you showed me what a good friend you are. The fact that you call me on the day that our country is under serious attack by terrorists, and while I am at work, to bitch me out about not having plans for your birthday this weekend is ludicrous ! How can you possibly be more self centered? I would like to thank you for getting me in trouble at work. I was sent home because I was trying to get through to you as you were yelling at me. My boss knew I was already upset about the terrorist attack, and then to have one of my best friends call to bitch me out was more than I could handle.

Also, after 20 years, I think I know you better than most. So, don't tell me I don't. There are a lot of things I have seen in the past year that have concerned me greatly. At times, I have mentioned these to our friends and family, but I haven't mentioned them to you because I knew what your reaction would be. Yes, we have been friends for a very long time. I have shared some wonderful times with you, but the past two or three years you have been a different person, and it only seems to be getting progressively worse. I can't remember the last time we talked when you didn't have something to complain about. I love when I answer the phone and the first words out of your mouth are "I'm having a marital moment", "I'm having a meltdown", "I'm so pissed off" etc. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to distance myself from you a little-bit because I couldn't handle all of your negativity. I have told my husband and your sister that I fear that you have some serious problems that you have not come to terms with yet. I believe that one day you may have a serious breakdown. I hope, if it occurs, that you will take a look at your life and make a decision to make some changes and to find some happiness. I will tell you that I don't like the person that you are becoming, and I honestly think you need to get some serious help.
 

I apologize if I hurt your feelings about any remarks that I may have made about not having something planned for your birthday. However, something as little as that shouldn't be enough to effect you the way it did. Most people appreciate the littlest things for their birthday. Calling your friends to remind them of your birthday or to scold them for not having plans is selfish and childish. The day before all this happened you called me to remind me that it was your birthday, "not that you had even thought about it," but that if we were going to do something we would need to do it on Friday. I had talked to RAB on Sunday, but told her that I needed to talk to your sister first to get some ideas from
her. I told RAB that I would only be able to afford to take you to dinner, and that I would not be able to do anything extravagant this year. She agreed and said she would wait for me to call. It was only Tuesday when you called yelling at me, I don't think it takes weeks to plan a birthday dinner. I apologize to RAB if she thought I was blowing her off, but I don't think it is your business to call me or to go off the deep end about it. Why should you be upset with your sister because she can't or won't participate in your celebration, when less than two months ago you all but forgot her birthday. I don't blame her for not wanting to do something for you. (and no, this is not about choosing one over the other, this is about pointing out the obvious)

I left a message with Lil Jap on Tuesday to call me. This was not to thank her for the stuff she gave me, but rather to tell her that I was concerned that you may have finally lost it. How dare you tell me how and when to thank somebody for something that they have done for me! What business is it of yours...oh I forgot, everything is your business. You are famous for getting other people involved in matters when you are pissed off. Somehow I can't imagine that Lil Jap, in everything that is going on her life right now, was thinking to herself "damn that Tinkerbell for not calling and thanking me for that stuff I gave her." She is not petty enough to sit and worry about when someone is going to
thank her for something.

I shouldn't even acknowledge the comments about picking the items up, as I don't think that they really thought much about it. Most of this stuff has been sitting in their garages for years, and I don't think a couple of weeks would make that much of a difference. Besides, didn't you notice the size of the car I drive and the size of the house I live in. I'm still in the process of trying to fit all of my belongings into this house, not to mention things that other people want to give me.

I am so sick and tired of you using your husband as a buffer in these situations. You always put him in the middle and pretend that it is both of your decisions about these things. I'm sure your husband could care less about these silly girl parties. I'm sure that the only reaction he got out of all of this is a giant headache from listening to you complain. Yes, its true that both of our husbands have shelled out a lot of dough for these shindigs, and everybody appreciates them and everybody has a good time, but don't sit there and tell me that your husband is ALL UPSET that I haven't planned your stink'n birthday party for this weekend. This is between you and your friends, so don't bring
your husband into it.

Sounds like K. is a bit jealous. Am I not allowed to have other friends? Friends that don't spend 99% of the time complaining about life? By the way, I don't hang out with even one of my fellow employees. I do like spending time with my "new neighbors", even though that time is very limited. I think you tend to forget that some of us work all day and are completely tired by the time we get home.

Don't give me any crap about how I don't attend your kids birthday parties. I'm sorry that I missed your son's birthday this year, but I was in the middle of moving. I'm sure he understands, and I really hoped that you were grown-up enough to understand too. Please, tell me how many birthday parties have I missed...lets not count the year that I was in Carson City. They are only a few years old, I don't think I have missed more than two or three. Unfortunately, I will be missing out on their birthdays for the rest of their lives because of your actions. Did you ever once take into consideration my feelings about going to the children's parties? You probably never realized how depressed I was every time I left your house because I never thought that I would be able to throw a party for my own children. There were many occasions when I would breakdown crying and my husband would have to console me because of seeing your beautiful children with the look of surprise and happiness on their little faces, thinking that I would probably never get to experience that for myself. In all of your selfish thinking, you probably never once considered that it was difficult for me to go to a party when everybody had children with them, except us.

Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with the kids. Who was the one who taught them how to balance a spoon on the end of their noses while babysitting so that you and your husband could spend some time together? Who was it that was jumping in the bouncy-thing with the kids in January for your daughter's birthday? Who was it that took your daughter to her girlfriend's birthday party, feeling totally out of place because I didn't know a single sole? Who was it that took your daughter shopping for her birthday present and to dinner so that she would feel special, which by the way was difficult to do because you wanted to talk about you, you, you and more about you the whole time. By the way, I don't try to make up to the kids with expensive gifts, I buy the gifts that either you suggest or they suggest.

And how dare you say that I tried to steal the limelight from people by announcing my pregnancy! We have all been waiting for this moment for years, and I thought it would be great to share it with you all in person at the same time instead of calling each person on the phone. It was a great moment to see all of your reactions, and I thought that maybe you guys appreciated the way I did it. Actually, I'm sure that most of the girls did, but you have to twist it to make it look like I was being selfish. Do I look like K.? Honey, that is your twisted little mind thinking. It was never intended to be a selfish act, and I'm amazed that you would think that it was. As a matter of fact, I waited to tell
my own mother and grandmother so that all of you could be a part of it, so that not one person was left out or was told last. The moment, by the way, only lasted about 20 minutes before you were all drunk and on to bigger and better things. RAB wasn't even there when I announced it, so how could I have possibly stole her moment?

I can't even believe that you could conjure up such an idea.I thought the whole point of Lil Jap's going away dinner, which by the way we planned only a few days in advance, was to make her forget she was leaving!!! When you made the toast it went something like this "Here's a toast to a divorce, a hysterectomy and Tinker Bell's little girl." Maybe you forgot how much you were bragging about having your female parts cut out. I really don't think that Lil Jap appreciated all the talk about Re-dial R. If you can't remember, she didn't talk to you for days because she was sick of you grinding her about R., R., R. Also, if you don't remember, you stole the night with you antics about meeting with Lil Jap's friend. You had to make such a drunken scene about what you and RAB were going to do. I think even Lil Jap was tired of you trying to be the center of attention with all your shenanigans about you meeting with her friend and about how you should flaunt your tits in his face and about how funny it would be if you did this and that. Why do you think some of us had to leave so early? Nobody could hear themselves over all your blaring! I can't believe YOU, of all people would call me the attention stealer...LOL!

Thank you for ruining a surprise. I told my boss the date that you were going to throw my baby shower and she said she would be able to make it. I had no idea that she was planning on throwing one for me. What difference does it make if she wanted to throw a baby shower anyway? Is it so important that you be the leader, the person who decides everything for everybody. Does it make you mad that now my boss and coworkers won't be at your house to tell you what a wonderful party you are throwing? I don't understand the thinking behind your comment. Again, don't use your husband as a buffer. He could care less who was throwing a baby shower and where...like he had any say about you throwing it anyway...whatever K. wants, K. gets.

Speaking of acts of kindness, how many times has my husband helped you with your computer, crawling around in the hot, dusty attic space to network your kid's computer, and building you a new computer? Who paid for one of your classes when you couldn't afford it? My husband never expects anything in return, and only did these things because we were such good friends. So don't give me any crap about how you or your husband always do things for people and nobody reciprocates.I can't believe that you can sit there and cry about nobody offering to help you after your surgery. I have it marked on my calendar, I have talked to your sister about it, and planned on being there to visit you. I assume that your husband is able to take care of you once you are home. Remember some of us work during the day, and can't be there to take care of you or the kids. However, if you needed me, all you would have had to do is call and I would have been there.

Who called you before you were even out of bed to find out what your test results were regarding the tumor? Who called you everyday to check on you? Who was there during both deliveries of your children, to comfort you and to hold your hand? Who drove you to the hospital when your daughter was ready to come whether you liked it or not? Who stayed with you for the entire ordeal? Who was there for you when you had surgery on your breast and you needed somebody there to help you with the drain, to make sure you were okay and to make you dinner?

Once again, it's all about you, you, you. Poor baby K., nobody loves her or wants to take care of her.

Who was always there for you on the phone when you needed a shoulder to cry on or to use as a sounding-board without adding "too many personal opinions" like you say Lil Jap does? You are the one that said at least I listen.Who was there for you when you and your husband were going through your separation? Who was trying to help you patch things up? I hated to see you guys split up. Nobody was happier to see you guys get back together, but I fear that it won't last because of the lack of communication and the way that you treat your husband like a child. How about talking to the poor man instead of yelling at him or scolding him? I shouldn't consult you on how to run your marriage, but I hate to see the way you treat him. And you wonder why he has done the things he has, why there is no trust. He can't confide in you because you berate him as a person, a man and as a husband. I have held my tongue on many occasions when you were going off about your husband. There have been many times when I thought that you were in the wrong for what you were saying, but it was not my business to say anything.

Speaking of which, anytime I do say something that doesn't agree with your opinion you get upset and say "I am riding the fence." If I hear
that phrase one more time I am going to puke!

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